i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
