Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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