We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Blood and glitter go together right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
