he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
