i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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