He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
