you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
