I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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