Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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