Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize