how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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