drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wear drunk well.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
