I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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