Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
