Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
