Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
