Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
