you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
