Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
