i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
