She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
