you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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