He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
