pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
