I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
