She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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