I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
