hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
