yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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