One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
