how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
