so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
