can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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