A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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