i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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