So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
