Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
