she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
