the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
