she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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