I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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