In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
