YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
