Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
