I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
