So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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