Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
