atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
