Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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