just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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