sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
