And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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