My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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