Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
